so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
