she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize