Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
