I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
