Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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