He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
