After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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