at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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