I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
