On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
