Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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