You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
