So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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