Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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