I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
