and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize