My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
