Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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