Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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