There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
