Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
