So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
