guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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