she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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