once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
