she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
