T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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