I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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