you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
