he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
