Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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