Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
