Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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