I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
