Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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