Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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