considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
