Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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