i think i have two assholes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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