Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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