No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
