So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
