At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
