I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
