Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
