So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Your cock deserves a montage
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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