remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
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Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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