Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
