Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
