I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
