First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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