i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
