just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
