I want to stick my p in your. b.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My orgasm happened in two different decades
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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