I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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