I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
