those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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