You can't motorboat a personality
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i dont even know how to be here
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize