If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
