i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
