are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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