Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
